Seldom do we come across a novelty in movies. It is exceptional to come across a new voice who has the courage to explore the possibilities of cinematic language in their practice, as if there are no boundaries. It is uncommon to ‘encounter’ a new artist whose creation is so intimate that it is like a fingerprint.
Zia Anger is such an artist, and she explores this relationship in her very first film, appropriately titled as ‘My First Film’. It’s unlike any film you’ve seen before it’s a self absorbed re creation of events that did happen and centered around a scripted documentary with online journal type of aesthetics. It’s unlike any other film because it depicts her past self, 25 years old Anger, shooting a movie called “Always All Ways, Anne Marie” (that is listed as ‘abandoned’ on IMDB). This art is indeed self centered, taboo, which is primarily used by the non creative population, but in fact all the good narrative art is self centered because it cannot be created in this cruel world without that self exploration. It comes from within, where the sentiment is genuine and the intention remains untarnished. Not all personal art looks the same. Looking deep inside the square shaped buildings, he had surrounded himself with Piet Mondrian’s own paintings. There is a wealth of insight in what Anger is trying to say. She feels really angry because ‘My First Film’ is deeply personal for her and does represent her own experiences. Now, ‘being female in the world of art and cinema’ sounds like a straightforward idea but in fact it is mind boggling. What is impressive about Anger is that she not only accepts her ignorance, her cowardness but also firmly believes that it is precisely cowardice that defines us, artisans and creative workers, and not the flawlessness of our creations.
Anger is a veteran who has worked in multiple disciplines: music videos, stage, and short films. There was a traveling live performance she did in 2018 that chronicled her first time directing a film. In her narration, a video shoot takes place during which everyone is mostly high and eventually gets to the point where she loses control and the whole crew walks away on her. The outcome of the movie ‘the failure’ is part of what made her lose faith in herself. This is all quite personal, rather specific to Anger’s history, but the work strikes a chord with almost everyone, not only the young artists but everyone who is trying to navigate the unchartered territory of adolescence, of transition, of becoming.
What got under my skin? Within the first fifteen seconds, I was sobbing uncontrollably. In relation to the creepy as well as dangerous aspects of creativity and content creation, it is a phrase meant for the audience. It is the voice of my creative self. I want to tell my story to my audience. Sharon Anger’s “My First Film” takes into account active involvement of the spectators.
Anger combines collage, and personal footage alongside, what he calls something close to cerebral reenactments (arguably not the correct words for such complex and heartfelt drawings). Anger herself is a character in the film, performed by Odessa Young (in this film she is called Vita), and is free, unrestrained and emotional with lot of chaos. More often than not she is very uncertain about herself, and seems to be out of control trying to manage her crew, and her lead actress who doesn’t act but has ‘seen many movies’. Anger shares films where her two mothers are, and in her voice narrates how it was like to grow up next to Lavender Hill, where a popular flower community existed back in the 1970s. That was Anger’s parents’ world. One of them appeared on Anger’s videos, a mime by profession performed her impersonation, which was of the climatic event of ‘periods’ ovulation. Vita holds her camera and positions herself on the floor, knowing her mother has always had great ideas and there is core about this somewhere. Ideas that are so much ‘it’ that they cannot be rationalized or disassembled in any other context. She apparently ‘proposes’ this concept to a company that is a new mass media company and then the company responded that promotion is useless for them, because it is too esoteric.
Feeling energized, it seems she said: “I wish I knew I was such an idiot” Vita, who’s angrier than the weather in May in London, creates a web series and decides to shoot it around Lavender Hill, enlisting a few of her friends and former lovers to help. There is a learning curve for Vita in that she has to rehearse the phrase “Action!” for her cast. Not everything is easy and filming the shots turns out to be an exercise in frustration. She has to deal with a lot, including a boyfriend who keeps grabbing her attention in the midst of each take claiming that he wants to have a ‘heart to heart’ with her. It is described in some situations in the film as if it were a film with real life scenarios, making one wonder if it is about women and not just for entertainment
It is me who Anger has spoken to in their internal voice. Please, can I tell you the truth? Is it possible for me to reveal something that is accurate in every sense? Now that is more than simply showing films; it develops into an artistic manifesto of sorts. For this, they’ve become quiet. She stated, “I simply couldn’t abide by the filmmaking conventions.”
The Ukrainian imaginary is crucial to this as well. Maya Deren is often regarded as the founding mother of American experimental cinema, and there are striking parallels between her artistic experience and that of Angers. They use the women’s figures in Deren’s “At land” where a woman wanders through dunes where she keeps disappearing only to keep returning as if there’s an underlying purpose to all of it. We hear Deren speaking: “You have no choice! Responsibilities.” Moving to America and dreaming of creating art is a struggle that many can comprehend.
Finally, “My First Film” is where the artist captures her belonging, where she feels peaceful and relaxed, where there is a chance to create without expectations. “Comprehend with full responsibility” in the modern world is not noticeable and has a different definition. In our current context, one must take responsibility to deliver ideas that are original and skew what is given to make something even more powerful.
An example of a lost movie is ‘Shirkers’ directed by Sandi Tan. Sandi in the movie ultimately looks back at what she achieved with both yearning and sadness. According to her, “falling in love with creating something” is a weak but strong feeling. It isn’t about the end result, however hard as it may be to hear. You can say that anger is a form of artistic and emotional expression for her which also finds its way onto the screen. The music of the Perfume Genius (Michael Alden Hadreas) flows around the images, circumferencing the actions by adding more to the feeling.
Later you can grow and think that the younger more innocent you was rather comedic. “My First Film” can be rather satirical watching it for the first time. But Anger, on the other hand, does not ridicule. Young appears very much distressed in the film. People at anger, anticipation, and excitement, she was a real person, not a digital character. There is a significant opportunity in the self assertive narratives or the ‘inside pain of women’ movies. But what these films ignore? In fact being “badass,” all the time is as bad as being a “damsel in distress”. What is in the vicinity of those poles? All the mankind.
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